#Seed014: Can Masculinity be Toxic?

Reflections on the decline of men in communities

The Son of Man, 1946 by Rene Magritte

Is there a link between extremism and masculinity? This is a question that I've reflected on for over a decade. In my early twenties, I published an op-ed that looked at some of the reasons young men join extremist groups. I was referring mostly to an acquaintance that I had known while I was studying in university who joined a known terrorist organization in Syria and Iraq. In that piece, I wrote that John Maguire "decided to join a fringe ideology because there was an aspect of Canada that dissatisfied him." At the time, I didn't know what aspects. Since then though, we've seen the rise of new forms of extremism. The political left and right has never been more divided, and the rhetoric shows. For example, in Canada, we still have public conversations on what exactly are "Canadian values." In the wake of those very heated public discourses, young people, especially young men, move into more extreme ways of thinking. I am starting to understand why young men are so dissatisfied.

As a community organizer that works closely with young men, I am seeing a resistance to a political discourse that is, at best, convoluted. On the one hand, I see young men resisting a cultural pressure to shed their masculine traits. But on the other, without strong mentorship and positive role models, those same young men fall into a form of masculinity that is violent and brutish. This particular form of masculinity celebrates authority and power. Though, I don’t particularly have anything against authority and power, in and of themselves, there is something rather off putting about the way in which those traits are celebrated. I suspect this celebration is coming from a place of reaction rather than a sense of responsibility. The men who obsessively want to revive manhood tend to be the same ones who spend their nights on their computers, neglecting their families and communities. These young men are getting their examples of manhood in the same way that John Maguire found examples in a fringe ideology: on streaming sites and social media platforms. Unfortunately, older men have left a vacuum to be filled with the loudest ideologues who spurt out shocking clickbait material on what it means to be a man. And guess what? It's working.

In 2000, sociologist Robert Putnam published his monumental work, Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. Putnam argues that since the 1950s, social capital has been steadily declining. Social capital, for Putnam, is used to describe the connections, networks, and trust that exist among people in a society which is the bedrock for community life and vitality. That decline is even more prevalent amongst men. A 2018 study from the Youth, Media & Wellness Lab found that 74% of women compared with 46% of men showed civic engagement through volunteering in their community. This data isn't surprising. In my own experiencing organizing community workshops across the Canada, men were always heavily outnumbered. Where are all the men?

Communities are places where men build friendships and find mentors. As community engagement declines amongst men, so do the examples of virtue. Men, especially young men, need those examples. They need to see what justice, courage, temperance, and wisdom look like in action. Civic participation provides that space to practice virtue - to walk the talk. Over the years, I've seen it in my local community. Young men coming and going, but seldom building roots. In a previous piece, I spoke about Fatherhood as Husbandry. When one husbands something, they are taking care of it, supporting its growth and development through work. Husbandry is, by definition, a communal act. It is caring for something to support others. Whether that is raising a family, caring for the old and the young, or growing food. Once we exit the doors of our homes, we begin to participate in community life.

The decline of men in communities is having a detrimental impact in our society. It has created a vacuum for propagandist to manipulate people, to turn them against another, and to fracture the bonds that connect us to people and the land. For the men who read this piece, I invite you to take a moment and to reflect about how you are of service to your community. Commit to being an example, and be a builder not a destroyed. We ought to be people who benefit the world around us. For as the Prophet Muhammad, may the light of God continue to nourish his soul, taught us: "The Muslim (the one who is at peace with God) is the one from whose tongue and hand the people are safe, and the Mu’min (the one who is safe with God) is the one from whom the people's lives and wealth are safe."

Drawing Inspiration

Every week, I share books, podcasts, films, and other resources that will support your journey as a community facilitator and builder.

Books

On the topic of extremism, I’d like to recommend my readers to check out Age of Anger: A History of the Present by Pankaj Mishra. This book looks at how fallen empires left a vacuum for political ideologues to amass power by stirring the anger of the populace. A stark reminder of what may come when social cohesion erodes and the bonds of family and community begin the break.