#Seed010: Abraham and the Fetters of Leadership

The need to emotionally support community leaders and change-makers

Dedicated to the community leaders who give of themselves so that others can grow.

Abraham’s sacrifice / Turkish miniature, 1583

For Muslims, this week marks the Festival of the Sacrifice, Eid al-Adha, in which the devotion and love of God shown by Prophet Abraham is commemorated. Community-builders can draw an important lesson on the struggles of leadership and the importance of supporting each other in the face of uncertainty. Leaders often find comfort and solace in the companionship and support of their peers. However, offering such support is more challenging than it may initially appear. It requires trust and hope, something that we can learn from the story of Abraham.

The Jewish, Christian and Muslim traditions teach an important though often misunderstood story of Abraham and his son. Abraham, a Prophet of God, received a dream that he must sacrifice what he most held dear, his son.¹

"O my dear son, I keep dreaming that I must sacrifice you". His son replied, "My dear father, do what God has commanded you to do."

After his son solemnly accepted and prepared himself to be sacrificed, God called out to Abraham and told him to sacrifice a ram in his son’s stead. Abraham is a unifying figure for Jews, Christians and Muslims, and this story has been taught all around the world with minor variances. In Fear and Trembling, Soren Kierkegaard spoke of this exact trial. “This distress I can well understand, I can admire Abraham, I am not afraid that anyone might be tempted by this narrative light-heartedly to want to be the individual, but I admit also that I have not the courage for it, and that I renounce gladly any prospect of getting further - if only it were possible that in any way, however late, I might get so far. Every instant Abraham is able to break off, he can repent the whole thing as a temptation, then he can speak, then all could understand him - but then he is no longer Abraham.” For Kierkegaard, Abraham’s silent acceptance of God’s command is what makes him a Prophet. He is inviting us to reflect on how we would bear such a burden, how would we accept such a difficult command?

Admittedly, this story is difficult to hear. But it is meant to be difficult to hear because we cannot fathom that kind of sacrifice. Abraham’s story is one of dreams, visions, devotion, and leadership. And in those stories, we don’t find an example that we ought to imitate but rather a character that we ought to admire and contemplate. The story of Abraham teaches us about the struggles of leadership. And as community, we need to see the similar challenges that people face when they are put in positions of leadership. Their visions and dreams aren’t always set in stone and are often clouded by uncertainty. Dr. Martin Luther King is known to have doubted his dream, “I was ready to give up. With my cup of coffee sitting untouched before me I tried to think of a way to move out of the picture without appearing a coward.” Responsibility comes with uncertainty and it’s becoming increasingly evident that depression, anguish, and anxiety is common amongst leaders. Abraham Lincoln struggled with clinical depression his whole life, “I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on the earth. Whether I shall ever be better I can not tell; I awfully forebode I shall not.” How can we support our leaders, those dreamers and visionaries of a better world?

Throughout the years of my community organizing, I’ve noticed that sometimes we feel a sense of comfort in the certainty of our powerlessness and we dread the uncertainty that comes with responsibility. I’ve seen community leaders and change-makers burnout while others, while they empathize, didn’t know how to help. I’m reminded of the great Czech dissident Václav Havel, who wrote about this exact phenomenon during the Soviet occupation. In Power of the Powerless, he spoke about the moral imperative to support your fellow man. “You can't spend your whole life criticizing something and then, when you have the chance to do it better, refuse to go near it.” The Soviet regime had done what it could to fragment existing community bonds. It criminalized the right to association because congregations posed an existential threat to the regime’s sovereignty. Yet, Havel noticed that everyone around him felt powerless as they witnessed open dissidents face criminal charges and sent to the Gulags. Ironically, he observed that if everyone supported each other within their community, their collective power could be immense.

We have the tendency to run away from responsibility. We turn away from community visionaries instead of providing our love and our friendship. Why? Because it is comfortable. If like Kierkegaard, we have not Abraham’s courage, we can at least have an admiration for vision. In our lives, admiration translates into support and love for those who have visions: the trailblazers and the dreamers. It is through love and friendship that we untie the fetters of leadership. And that is how we create resilient communities.

Providing Emotional Support

Before concluding, I’d like to share five simple actions that we can take to ensure that our leaders thrive. As community members, we play an important role in providing emotional support to our leaders.

1. Active listening: The weight of responsibility that comes with leadership is real. It’s important to be attentive and empathetic when leaders share their toughts, feelings, and concern. This doesn’t just make them feel heard and understood, but gives a sense of comfort that they aren’t alone. In the Islamic tradition, we learn that Aaron was sent to support Moses difficult mission.

2. Celebrate achievements: This is more than just showing gratitude but rather sharing stories and building a narrative of success. Community narratives are so important to sustain the work during difficult periods.

3. Offer practical help: It is easy to wait for someone to ask you to help. But it’s important to take stock of your skills and the things that you can offer.

4. Encourage self-care: As a community leader, it’s easy to think that self-care is selfish. As a friend, it’s important to provide opportunities for leaders to take off their hat and relax. Take time to not just think about solutions to problem. Share a moment among friends.

5. Pray or meditate together: Come together to recognize that there is a greater force behind community work. When in the weeds, it’s easy to forget about the big picture. Turn inward and make it about the Spirit.

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Drawing Inspiration

Every week, I share books, podcasts, films, and other resources that will support your journey as a community facilitator and builder.

Poetry

I came across these verses signed R. P. in a book entitled The Railway Conductor. Beautiful words to live by as we reflect on all of those who gave their lives for the betterment of our communities. Those leaders who weren’t recorded in the tablets of man but will forever be remembered in the Tablet of God.

Let others write of battles fought, 
Of bloody, ghastly fields, 
Where honor greets the man who wins, 
And death, the man who yields; 
But I will write of him who fights
And vanquishes his sins, 
Who struggles on through weary years
Against himself, and wins. 

1. Though there are differences between the traditions on whether the son in question was Ishmael or Isaac, the spiritual and moral lessons are the same.